Alzheimer’s Disease – Mr and Mrs Fardel’s Story
Four children, a painting company, around twenty heads of cattle with ‘thirty bells’ won at cow fights, a passion for the mountains and travel, vineyards and endless amounts of work to do. Marcel Fardel, from Ayen, is hyperactive.
This didn’t prevent him, a few years ago, from becoming “difficult,” remembers his wife Berthe. “He would get lost, couldn’t find roads that he knew well,” she explains. “One day, he even had an accident without remembering what had happened. He wouldn’t listen to anyone anymore and had created his own little bubble. Him and his cows. It wasn’t manageable anymore.”
Marcel Fardel suffered a stroke in January 2009, and it was while he was being re-educated that he was diagnosed with Alzheimer’s disease. “It was a relief for us,” says Mrs Fardel. “Because then we knew why he had changed.”
Keeping a Support Network
For Marcel, who was 64 years old at this point, it was a heavy blow. “It was very tough,” he admits. “He lost some independence, but so did I,” points out Berthe. “I had to drive him around. Some friends became more distant too.” A family support network appeared, but Berthe got exhausted and also had to go to hospital. “That’s when I realised that I have a life of my own alongside his. I have to do what I can, with what I can. I am his crutch and Marcel knows that I have to protect myself. In fact, he’s very grateful and much more considerate than before,” she smiles.
Aside from the family support provided by their four children, the Fardels have found a balance between activities and external help. Marcel plays boules every Wednesday afternoon, both of them have choir rehearsals on Tuesday evenings – Marcel has just celebrated 50 years of singing with Concordia – and there’s the day centre on Thursdays. “I need to have a break, and it goes very well,” says Mrs Fardel.
Fear of the Unknown
The painting company had already been taken over by two of his sons eight years ago, and the cattle were sold last winter. “I won’t pretend that I didn’t shed a tear when I saw the last two cows in the cattle lorry,” stresses Berthe Fardel. “But it had become too complicated.” These days, the couple is “enjoying what we have, without the worries,” even if the disease causes some annoyances in their daily lives: “I can’t write anymore, and when I’m at the bar I “struggle” a bit with money,” explains Marcel. “He struggles to concentrate when he’s in the vineyard, too. Generally speaking, he’s scared of the unknown and is afraid of not having enough money,” adds his wife.
“Still some good moments left before us”
In terms of the disease itself, the Fardels do not feel particularly afraid. “You have to remember all the beautiful things in life, and we still have some good moments to come before us. And generally speaking, we have all decided, the children and I, to be more spontaneous and not to hold ourselves back so much.” For Marcel, the hardest thing was probably to let go, to sell the cattle. “But you get over it,” he says. And nowadays, he still never misses an inalpe (taking the cows to pasture in the mountains). Just for pleasure. But without any of the worries.